Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
