So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
