I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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