I think scott just propositioned me for sex
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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