did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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