Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
