In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
