Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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