Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
