Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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