yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
