dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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