Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
God, I missed his penis.
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