Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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