so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
