I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize