My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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