Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
