woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
