Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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