Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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