YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
