Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Found your dick twin last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
