me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
