Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
