No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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