we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
