Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
