I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
