When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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