the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
