Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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