When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
