Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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