return my video game
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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