You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize