she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
