Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
