people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
try to milk me bitch
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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