yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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