For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize