Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
