My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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