Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
