flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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