I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
