I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
