Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
