its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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