if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Terrible idea I love it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
