I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
