Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
