I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.