i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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