We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
