yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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