she was so not down for the gang bang
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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